How to Lose Friends and Influence People
Updated: May 15
These days, losing friends is easier than one might think.
Yes, dear reader, you no longer have to behave badly, betray a confidence, or even do anything against your morals, values, or views.
The fact is, being true to yourself is enough to end even a close friendship.
Before I left FaceBook for greener pastures (literally, I’m spending more time outdoors than on social media), I carefully crafted a post about my concern around health censorship.
I included a short video about V-safety. (Read yesterday’s blog for clarification.)
Most people thanked me for the very balanced and reasonable representation of my concerns, but one friend texted me immediately to take down the post.
To “prove” his point, he sent me an article as evidence of the evils of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who was featured in the clip.
This article was not only strictly editorial, but misquoted RFK Jr. - linking the interview in which he allegedly made his heinous remarks, thus enabling me to easily see what he actually said.
I was baffled.
This friend is highly educated.
He should know how to read for accuracy.
Not only did he misread my post, but he clearly didn’t vet his own source.
Because most of us read with a confirmation bias.
We want information that confirms what we already believe.
We do not read for clarity or accuracy - unless it proves our point.
This is entirely human.
And the more panicked and threatened we are, the more we do this.
One friend talked to her adult son about her trepidations around getting the C-19 injection and he accused her of being an anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theorist.
These being the de rigueur epithets for covid non-conformists.
I’m really not making fun of these people.
But I am making fun.
We need to.
We need to distinguish our own human foibles and learn to laugh at them.
I’ve admitted my own prejudices in this very blog.
My reactions, and my underlying fears.
We all have them.
And that’s the point.
Now more than ever, we need to look beyond our comfortable narratives and search for the truth - before it gets too difficult to find.
Last month, 2 prominent Alberta doctors had had enough.
They admonished those perpetuating the popular and unscientific narrative in this comprehensive and credible press conference, where they use evidence to make their points.
They spoke of the “cognitive dissonance” to which I just pointed.
And they speak not just about and for Canadians, but with facts about and for all of us.
I invite you to listen to their info-packed statements here…
I lost my vociferous texting friend.
It hurt, for a while.
And then it helped.
It had me realize just how dangerous our current culture has become.
When an intelligent, progressive, and loving person ends a friendship over an expression of concern for shared values like freedom and health rights, we have a problem.
But with every problem there lies an opportunity.
So here I am.
Building a new tribe.
I am grateful for every one of you, and wouldn’t change the challenges that have influenced me to be here.
In the words of Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights, "Clear eyes. Full Hearts. Can't lose."
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